Monday, October 17, 2016

When You Just Aren't Feeling It

Do you ever feel flat? My kids left a playground ball under the trampoline more than a month ago. It has been rained on, overheated by some blistering summer days, and now cooled considerably by a couple weeks of chilly fall nights. That bouncy ball is looking considerably worse for wear: dull, deflated, half buried in the overgrown grass, and generally weather-beaten and forlorn. For the past couple weeks, I have been feeling a lot like that ball. I’m reading interesting books. I found an excellent new podcast, and it is clarifying ideas that have tumbled in my head and heart for a long time. I have spent time with some good friends and even discovered that a dear family is moving back to our area after several years out of the country. Good things are happening, but I still feel flat, weather-beaten, and a little bit forlorn.

I love ideas. I love the excitement that floods me when my eyes are opened to a new way of seeing the world, when I feel overwhelmed with a beautiful vision. Monday morning? Bring it on! I hit the floor running and ready to conquer our week. When I’m full of motivation, I can climb mountains and plant a flag for Truth, Goodness, and Beauty.

But then, life isn’t always like that, is it? Some days Monday feels like... well, a Monday. Rolling out of bed is only accomplished through a mixture of habit, defiance, and bone-deep desperation for that first cup of coffee. The past few Mondays, I have stood at the head of the week, and looking forward made me feel more exhausted than excited. I wrote to a friend that I feel like all I can do is to keep moving forward and trust that something is going to light a fire.

Where is your heart today? Do your lesson plans look more like a roadmap to wonder or a list of drudgeries? What is a homeschool parent to do on a dreary October day, when the lesson plans stretch far past the motivation?

Click over the the CME Retreat blog to read more

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